Undecitina 10, 25-9

posted Apr 22, 2010, 7:34 PM by Stephen Pliska-Matyshak   [ updated May 2, 2010, 7:22 PM ]

I do not want to go back!

I have to, but I do not want to.  I have found a life here that I do not want to give up.  I have given up my room at the Old Walton Inn and taken a room at the university...for two reasons.  Firstly, of course, to spend as much time as possible with Isildul and secondly to avoid Aifos.  The sight of that half-dragon keeps reminding me that our stay in this Age will be too limited to live a lifetime.

Why should I go back?  Isildul has all but proposed. I hope to the Gods he does not find the courage before I leave.  It will break his heart for me to refuse or withhold an answer and even worse if I accept and then just disappear.  The only way I am dealing with it is to live in the moment; not think about our future that can never be.

Isildul's undead self has remembered as Aifos said.  The more I think about his attitude and actions toward me while in his tower, he did.  He must have insisted that Imhiakaam rescue me.  He so carefully limited exposing me to his condition through the years. He made sure I was not lost to the devils forever.  It is clear now.  Every time I was in his presence and he had one of his books, he would always close it over...except the back cover...to view the seal.

[splashes from tears]

He is saving himself by following his heart all the way back here in the past.  He saved me, so I could help save him.

[more splashes from tears]

The torture he will endure, living over a century only to exist nine more...waiting...not knowing I am from the future.  Aifos will surely insist that I not say anything.

I will love him now with all my heart realizing he finally finds me again. I will bring his salvation back with me from the past. His human immortality.  His child.