Before I was born

Post date: Jan 17, 2010 10:12:32 PM

On this day, long before my mother bore me, death claimed me in a battle. The mighty shaman of the Teutons lead my spirit back into the light. I am forever grateful.

Whether through the workings of misguided magic or the will of the gods, my traveling companions and I exist in a time before we came to be. Wintersky, my sister in faith and guide to the spirits of the afterlife; Legeand, my comrad of the sword and comfort in the dark; Nyza, whose sorcery is only rivaled by her kindness; Celesta, mystical scholar and wounded soul; Oliveryn, who leads an inspirational life of music and politics; Sparta, the forest's ally and free spirit; Ozimus, walking the line between good and evil...I have come to know and love them all.

So long have I resisted the urges, the desires, the whims of my nature which will lead me from the path of righteousness. So often have I suppressed the call of chaos to follow the instructions of my father to stay the course. And now, after all this time, I discover that the road on which I travel is wider than I believed...that I can still follow the path without denying to myself who I really am. Even with this knowledge, I am at a loss, for I no longer know how to let my spirit emerge from the dungeon in which I have imprisoned it. How can I release this burden?

I have taken an oath as a paladin, so mustn't I follow through? If I break my oath, what is my word worth? What consequences will result? As I face these consequences, will my companions suffer as well?

I need council in this matter, but who is knowledgeable enough to offer it? Visaria, in this time, has not yet ascended, and without her guidance, I feel lost.

No matter. I will try to focus more on what is right in the eyes of Armee the Father and Visaria the Beneficient. I will carry out my duties while attempting not to bind myself with rigidity. Only as my true self may I glorify the name of Visaria.